Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

I hated the first two films. I thought they were trash. I'm still surprised that they not only made a third film but that it's a prequel AND it made it to the theaters.

The original cast is pretty much gone since it's a prequel aka saved some money. Oddly enough though the cast is rather good in this film. You don't often seen real acting in a vampire werewolf war film but of course it's not a typical film style I guess.

The special effects have also taken a few steps back, again a budgeting issue I'm sure. But still the film ran it's course quickly, I didn't whine or anything about anything in particular and the film just kind of exists. Is it better than the others? I'd say yes but that doesn't mean a whole lot coming from a hater of the others. Fans should get their thrills and plot hole fillings but anyone else should pass.

Movie - 2.5/5

Hotel For Dogs

I had no interest in seeing this film. It looked like another BHC film and frankly I wasn't in the mood for it but hey why not suffer some more I thought to myself.

To be fair though the film isn't that bad. Some kids take in stray dogs and they live with an adopted family blah blah blah. People are evil, issues arise, theft, cops yadda yadda. You get the drift.

it's a kids movie and while it wasn't very humor or even adventurous I think the dog factor alone would entertain any child under the age of 10. I'll never see the film again, I won't recommend it but really did did nothing but exist so I can't say it was horrible, but just there.

entertainment value - 2/5

Movie - 2/5

Not Easily Broken

Your theater would have only gotten this film if you are in a catholic area or african american area. FACT because it never came near me yet I get the limited release films. There's a lot less god talk than I was expecting because I was expecting Fireproof. But there was enough ebonics to make a person cry.

The film follows a typical family plot line of anger, possible cheating and regrets. It's been done before, the actors are annoying and I really don't feel like devoting more time to this crap. This is a fine example of why Hollywood is in a slump.

Entertainment Value - 1/5

Movie - 1/5

Paul Blart: Mall Cop

I liked Kevin James a lot. He actually reminds me of a former co-worker I had. But still I thought the previews looked amusing and after my last failed attempt at a comedy I figured I'd give this shot.

I'm some what glad I didn't bother seeing it in the theater. it's mildly funny but it takes half the way to build the character of Blart and then the stuff from the trailer happens. The jokes are pretty good but a lot of it is stuff we've seen before. Jumping into glass doors ect.

But still, James is very likable in the role and sometimes that's enough. I can't fully recommend the movie but I'd say it's worth catching on tv or renting some day. It's very family friendly as well, besides a weird drunk scene which felt sort of out of place. Oh and the Indian guy is so god damn annoying.

Entertainment Value - 3/5

Movie - 2.5 /5

Notorious

I hate rap music. To me it's the thing that destroyed what music is today. Everything needs a hiphop beat and 50 guest appearances. For something that is suppose to originate from flowing thoughts it sure has become shallow.

And that's the best way to describe Notorious because it's as shallow as any music biopic. They never portray a person as bad but always as someone caring and/or nice which may not have been their public image and yes, maybe BIG was that way but it feels so fake in this film because both personas come off as fake but they might be because of the actor.

The only plus is the nudity but then you need to see the naked chicks riding a fat man so it loses all sex appeal. Harsh as I sound I can't recommend it to anyone but those die hard Biggy fans. I personally hated his music years ago when he was alive and I hate it as much in this movie.

Entertainment value - 1/5

Movie - 2/5

My Bloody Valentine 3D

I've never seen the original but I have it ready for a viewing, maybe later tonight. I wanted to go into this movie without knowing anything besides what was shown in the trailers.

The 3D is nicely done, I recommend sitting far back and up high for best effect. Nothing like a hotty running around naked showing us what god gave her and in eye popping 3d yummy. Not only that but the gore is nicely done and the characters are fairly likable and don't often do too many dumb things.

My only real problems lie in the final scene of the film and in the fact that the 3d element feels forced at times with awkward pauses to allow the kills to happen. other than that it's a great watch for horror fans, the scares are decent and again 3d full frontal nudity.

PS: If someone starts talking out loud about every 3d effect being fresh, please stab him for me because this movie also proved why I hate going to movies that aren't for ancient old people. Hell, Wall-E offered a better audience than this did.

entertainment value - 5/5

Movie - 4/5

Bride Wars

I saw this a few days ago actually but couldn't bring myself to write the review and only feel forced due to having watched another movie since then. I liked the idea the trailers presented. two best friends who accidentally get the same wedding date at the same place and neither willing to budge so it's a big ole cat fight, ala Mean Girls.

In reality it's nowhere near that level of entertainment. The mean things are mostly shown in the trailer. Hudson's character actually forces her boyfriend to propose because her best friend is getting married (thus solving the problem IMO) but the film never goes there. It's a shallow movie all around and with one memorable scene in a club being the only worth while moment for the whole film.

Girls will love it because girls love these kind of films. Hell, I work with two girls who got married and knocked up around the same time and kinda sorta married into each others family so I know this could kinda sorta happen.

Entertainment Value - 2/5

Movie - 2/5

The Unborn

The previews for this film creeped me out. What can I say, evil children scare me but normal children do as well so I dunno.

Anyway, a girl finds out she had a twin but it died in the womb. Now it wants to come back. Basic plot here and the first part is creepy stuffs, second part is very boring and then some how the finale is kind of epic when compared to every pg13 horror film in the past 5 years. It's seriously solid with the creep factor and deaths.

I won't say it's a great film and the final scenes are lame and have been done before (Sandra Bullock did it a few years ago) but still it's very fitting I guess. Horror fans should give it a go but otherwise I'd pass because it's not the next great horror film.

Entertainment Value - 3.5 /5

Movie - 3/5

The Poughkeepsie Tapes (limited release)

I heard of this movie a few years ago when it was at some film festival and now it's gotten a more main stream release. Limited of course but it's available at least. The only problem is that it isn't all that good.

The idea of the film is that it's a documentary about these tapes, snuff films if you will, that are found and they belong to this killer in Poughkeepsie. While not a real documentary and not even based on a real killer (it's a mix of 3 or 4) the film actually comes off as fake.

The acting is often questionable and maybe it's because I went in expecting a real documentary and instead got blindsided within a few minutes with the bad acting. I like that this fake footage is shown in the film when needed and some of it is just random like the girl being told to bounce and pop the balloon. By the end I just didn't care because it was done so poorly. All the buzz and it's a flop...

Movie - 1/5

Recommend: No

Without A Paddle Nature's Calling (Advance DTV review)

First 2009 review I guess and it's a DTV film. Unsure if this blog will ever get an official release but we'll see. This will run alongside my gfaqs movie blog.

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The original film was only mildly amusing so imagine my surprise when a DTV sequel was announced with no one returning, actor or character wise. The plot is kind of lame. The old lady from Wedding Singer is dying so some friends go out into the wild to find her grand daughter, whom one of the boys has a major crush on since middle school.

My first problem is the guys look like they are 16 but have graduated from college. Whatever I guess. Secondly, the plot isn't very good, the jokes are rather lame and have to do with penis, poop and other stuff. As if a 14 year old wrote it... hmm...

I'm going to have to say pass on this one. Not worth the time. And I don't even remember laughing once.

Movie: 1/5

Recommend: No