the knowing

Imagine if you found a piece of paper that showed you when, where and how many will die. Now imagine it shows not noly what has happened but what will happen. With this power Nicky Cage must save the world.

One problem is that he and the rest of the cast really can't act. It's stiff and wooden and some of the scenes are laughable. The field scene in the last 10 minutes had me laughing my ass off. It was so abdly done.

In a world where every film needs a plot twist I have to admit I wasn't surprised when one came out of left field. it's almost as out of left field as Hancock's twist but there are enough annoying clues that you know something involving this will happen. Just not what and when it happens I couldn't help but wonder why we wasted our time going this path..

Whatever, just skip it like any other recent Cage film. Won't America learn to not pay for this crap?

movie - 1/5

last house on the left

I saw the original way back when and was surprised by the tone of the film so imagine my confusion when I saw a trailer for this and having not heard they were even remaking it. Well, maybe there's a reason.

Maybe we're less sensitive these days but this film isn't shocking and instead I couldn't help but wonder why the characters were so 2 dimensional in a film where no one dies for a good 40 minutes.

I'm not watching it solely for the T&A (which I found kind of tame in this one) and the gore, while good in spots felt over the top dumb. What's worse is the final scene of the film is in the trailer... Seriously? and it's THAT scene? wtf is wrong with Hollywood.

Anyway, I can't say I'd recommend this one. It did nothing for me and we've had better "horror" films this year.

Movie - 1/5

Watchmen

I read the graphic novel either last year or the year before that and even then I kenw of it but had finally found a good deal on it. I wasn't overly thrilled with it when I finished it and couldn't figure otu what the big deal is. But I was excited for the film.

The best description is that it's this years Cloverfield. That stylish film that is released early in the year and hopefully sets the trend for rest of the big films but some how is better than them anyway.

Of course the film is far from perfect. Fans of the novel will eat this film up. It painstakingly keeps everything it can and it actually drags the film down. It's long, Dark knight long but unlike TDK the film drags for the first 90 minutes, I actually wanted to make myself fall asleep out of sheer boredom.

The characters are great and the ultimate story is badass but it takes so long for anything remotely exciting to happen after the awesome opening that I almost wish they didn't include every minor detail.

I'll be bashed for it but this is a good example of why a lot of novels aren't exact copies and maybe that is why I was bored with the beginning. I knew exactly where it all was going and I recognized so many scenes being from the novel, despite reading it so long ago.

My complaints aren't real complaints I guess. It's a really well done movie all around. From the acting to the kick ass soundtrack it never stops being what it was meant to be. But I can't help but feel that the first half was too dull for it's own good and thankfully the final half kicks lots of ass. Don't go in expecting the next superhero flick because it isn't that. it's a different beast all together and maybe it won't be for everyone but it's worth a viewing by some means but I don't know if it's worth the 3 hours in the theater.

Movie - 4/5

Confessions of a Shopaholic

I was interested in this, thinking it might be amusing if nothing else. Yeah... No... It has no substance at all. By the end it felt like I just watched a 5 minutes movie about nothing happening. I guess the pace is good but I couldn't help but feel like I wasted the 89 minutes and that I should have them back.

The acting is fine but really the movie has nothing else going for it besides a decent soundtrack (although that too is girly). Just not my kind of film I guess...

Movie - 1.5 /5

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-li

We all know the original Street Fighter film was horrible but had some redeeming qualities in the cheese factor department. However, I never fathomed a sequel being made and this later. And while it isn't exactly a sequel, more like a prequel it does nothing but make a mess of the entire thing as a whole.

Characters are totally changed around. Sure Blanka looked lame in the first film but in this we have an Irish Mison... Seriously? Bah. Even the action is piss poor due to weird editing that makes it all feel choppy and then don't get me started on the Street Fighter rap that happens and brings make horrid memories of the Vanilla Ice Ninja Turtle rap in the second Turtles film (which really almost ruins the film).

Anyway, I'd say avoid it. It'll piss fans off and just annoy everyone else. Better off never being thought of again.

Movie - .5 /5

Push

This movie looked inetresting but so did Jumper and we know how that was. Well, Push is slightly better but it feels more like Wanted meets Heroes. Not really a abd thing but it seems to lack any original thoughts, even the ending felt ripped from both sources.

The action is decent, the powers are fun and hell, even the acting is pretty good. But then the film just kind of exists. I will most likely never watch it again or give it a thought but if you're desperate for an action film and have already seen Taken then I guess Push wouldn't be a horrible option...

Movie - 2.5 /5